The way we give an instruction, or try to get a girl to do something (or to stop doing something) is important. It sets the stage and tone for the entire interaction. Below are some commonly heard instructions and some alternatives to try.

There is a time and a place.

Sometimes, it’s not that the girl’s behavior is wrong, but now is not the right time, or here is not the right place. Asking her to move to the right area or save the activity for later can be the perfect answer.

Instead of “Cut that out,” try “You can play with the drum downstairs”.

Instead of “Stop that running,” try “Running is for outside, not in here”.

Give girls a chance to show off. Make it a game and show interest when they accomplish a task.

Instead of “everyone, be quiet,” try “I want to hear Mary on the phone, so play more quietly”.

Instead of “put your shoes on now,” try “How fast can you put your shoes on?”.

Instead of “eat your food,” try “How many beans can you eat?”.

Instead of “do your homework,” try “As soon as you finish the first 3, show them to me”.

Be a new role model.

Sometimes girls don’t know how to do things, or they imitate the wrong behavior. Keep in mind that you might need to show them what they should be doing. You can even help them think of new ways to do something together.

Instead of “don’t push the dog,” try “be gentle, pet the dog like this”.

Instead of “don’t do it like that,” try “Let’s see if we can figure out a better way to do that”.

Be clear about “when”.

When giving instructions, you can take time to remind girls that everyone will get a piece or that we will start when you say the magic words, but girls still might be impatient. Here are some tips:

Instead of “not now,” try “I need to finish this, I will be with you as soon as I finish”.

Instead of “stop grabbing,” try “Just a second, you will get one”.

What other ways have you practiced a positive spin to help manage behavior in your troop? Let us know in the comments.