Valuing Differences

At Girl Scouts, we make sure girls are valued members, regardless of their economic, physical, psychological, or intellectual capabilities. The goal of each volunteer is to contribute to a girl’s path of becoming a caring, competent, and confident woman.

To ensure that each girl is valued, we can provide opportunities when:

Girls are actively planning an activity, like a meal or a trip. Be sure to encourage brainstorming, and acceptance of all suggestions.

Duties are rotated: kapers, roles in a ceremony, skits, songs, graces, choices for games, etc. Make sure that girls all get a chance to make decisions and be leaders. Celebrate creative solutions or ideas.

The situation calls for problem solving efforts. Lead the girls in ways to solve the problems, but do not do it for them. Encourage input from all girls.

Asking questions about appropriate behaviors for a particular activity or event. Our past experiences are not the same. By asking what is appropriate, you are encouraging the sharing of ideas and learning about differences. Then everyone knows the expectations and has participated in the choosing of appropriate behaviors.

Discussing family traditions. Holiday and family traditions are part of our socialization process. But they are unique to each family, because each family is unique. We are usually unaware or unconscious of this fact and act as if each family is just like ours. As a result, we remain unaware of the family and holiday traditions other people observe. Ask questions about traditions that girls in your troop observe, but try not to make them fit a mold based on your own. List many activity options and let the girls choose how they would like to observe the holiday.

We make an effort to be aware that family size, education level, jobs, economic status, heritage, geographic location, and health status are a few of the factors that influence each person’s behavior. They are also unique to each person. To promote understanding and valuing of differences, we can ask ourselves, “What may have been the experiences of the person to cause her to choose to act that way?” Then gently ask questions that build rapport and acceptance.

This is a task that is ongoing for each of us personally and as part of the group. If we do not learn to value differences, we lose the appreciation for the uniqueness of an individual. We also lose the contributions each will make when encouraged in a safe environment.

10 Things Caring Leaders Do

Make safety and health the number one priority.

Caring troop leaders know where their girls are at all times. They can say “no” to girls when needed.

Play with the girls.

Caring troop leaders are with their girls, watching them, listening to them, playing with them, and having fun together.

Listen to girls and have one-on-one talks with each girl.

Caring troop leaders let girls do most of the talking and listen deeply. They make time for one-on-one talks with each child. One-on-one does not mean alone or away from other people, rather that you have conversations with each girl in addition to group conversations.

Create enthusiasm.

Caring troop leaders do this by singing, chanting, laughing, being cheerful, being enthusiastic, and genuinely enjoying time with their girls.

Praise and encourage the girls.

Caring troop leaders praise girls for doing something creative, altruistic, or beneficial for the group.

Lead girls, but never boss them around.

Caring troop leaders are not bosses, they are leaders.

• A boss says “I”; a leader says “we”
• A boss inspires fear; the leader inspires enthusiasm
• A boss makes meetings boring and dull; a leader makes it a game

Interacts with girls at each meeting.

Caring troop leaders make sure that every meeting has time to share experiences, ideas, laughs, and work as a team. They make sure girls have time to make choices and talk about things that interest them.

Stay alert for girls who need extra help.

Caring troop leaders are continuously on the watch for girls who are unhappy or having troubles. Girls who are too aggressive or too quiet usually need special attention. They encourage girls to talk but never force them.

Puts the needs of the girls first.

Caring troop leaders know that the needs of the girls must be put ahead of their personal needs in order to be effective. Let the girls decide what they want to do as a troop, don’t reject ideas because they seem to be extra work for you. During troop meetings or outings, you should be interacting primarily with the girls, not other volunteers.

Give special attention to each girl during a farewell.

Caring troop leaders do this at the end of a meeting, or even before bedtime during an outing. They offer high-fives or other personalized moments to let girls know that they are welcomed back and that their leader likes having them in their troop.

There’s Another Way To Say It

The way we give an instruction, or try to get a girl to do something (or to stop doing something) is important. It sets the stage and tone for the entire interaction. Below are some commonly heard instructions and some alternatives to try.

There is a time and a place.

Sometimes, it’s not that the girl’s behavior is wrong, but now is not the right time, or here is not the right place. Asking her to move to the right area or save the activity for later can be the perfect answer.

Instead of “Cut that out,” try “You can play with the drum downstairs”.

Instead of “Stop that running,” try “Running is for outside, not in here”.

Give girls a chance to show off. Make it a game and show interest when they accomplish a task.

Instead of “everyone, be quiet,” try “I want to hear Mary on the phone, so play more quietly”.

Instead of “put your shoes on now,” try “How fast can you put your shoes on?”.

Instead of “eat your food,” try “How many beans can you eat?”.

Instead of “do your homework,” try “As soon as you finish the first 3, show them to me”.

Be a new role model.

Sometimes girls don’t know how to do things, or they imitate the wrong behavior. Keep in mind that you might need to show them what they should be doing. You can even help them think of new ways to do something together.

Instead of “don’t push the dog,” try “be gentle, pet the dog like this”.

Instead of “don’t do it like that,” try “Let’s see if we can figure out a better way to do that”.

Be clear about “when”.

When giving instructions, you can take time to remind girls that everyone will get a piece or that we will start when you say the magic words, but girls still might be impatient. Here are some tips:

Instead of “not now,” try “I need to finish this, I will be with you as soon as I finish”.

Instead of “stop grabbing,” try “Just a second, you will get one”.

What other ways have you practiced a positive spin to help manage behavior in your troop? Let us know in the comments.

Welcoming New Girls

Welcoming a new girl to Girl Scouts takes two parts. First is the initial greeting where they are recognized as a new member of the group. The second is building a sense of belonging. You can make sure each girl feels welcomed and part of the group by using this handy-dandy SMILE tool to greet girls the first time and every time.

If it’s your first troop meeting, or your first time greeting a new girl, remember to S.M.I.L.E.

Smile a lot! It sends a message of welcome and friendship.

Make eye contact. It connects you to your girls.

Introduce each girl to all the other girls in your group.

Learn each girl’s name.

Enthusiasm is contagious! Be enthusiastic.

Now that you’ve greeted all the girls, it’s time to build a sense of belonging. You’ll S.M.I.L.E. again, but in a different way:

Smile a lot! Continue the message of friendship.

Move around with the girls. Be willing to go to them and be part of the activity.

Include each girl in activities.

Learn two things about each girl, like their favorite animal, hobby, superhero, or Girl Scout activity.

Encourage each girl to make a new friend.