Girl Scouts Give Back: Letter-Writing Service Project

How to Help Teens Shelter in Place

Teens are not made for isolation. Here’s how to help your teenager see the bigger picture during COVID-19.

Parents everywhere are struggling to get their teenagers and college students to “shelter-in-place.” Teens are not made for isolation, which makes COVID-19 especially hard on them—and it makes them difficult to control.

One of my friends is coming unglued. “My kids keep skating around rules and being with friends every time I close my office door to work.” She has two college students home and a big corporate job she’s got to keep doing. She’s trying to care for elderly in-laws, and her daughter needs medication that she’s having trouble securing. “I feel like I should be able to control them. I’m trying. But my anxiety is so heavy. I’m emotionally exhausted.”

Social isolation is hard for humans of all ages. But because teenagers and young adults are more attuned to social status than the rest of us, it is even more profoundly distressing for them.

In addition, their hard-wired attunement to social status makes them super touchy about whether or not they are being treated like children. This means that they feel infantilized when ordered to shelter-in-place.

What can we do to encourage teens to comply with social-distancing measures?

We need to work with their existing motivations. Teens are unlikely to be persuaded by (brilliant! logical! passionate!) arguments that conflict with their innate, developmental motives.

Start with their motivation to get out from under our control

We can work with this existing motivation by treating them like competent young adults rather than little kids. For example, we can:

• Expect them to contribute to our household in meaningful ways. They can help with meal prep and household cleaning. Our kids assist with the cleaning by vacuuming and wiping down the counters. Keeping conflict low amid tight quarters is a meaningful contribution. Planning fun activities for the family to do together might be the most essential contribution of all!
• Allow them to manage themselves, their own schoolwork, and their other responsibilities without nagging or cajoling. This does not mean that we won’t be engaged with them. It does mean that we give them space to operate freely within the limits we agree to as a family.
• Ask them to help us with our work to the extent that they can. “My kids keep interrupting me on Zoom calls for stupid shit,” a friend texted me, frustrated to the brink. Even older teens (and spouses!) need us to be clear about how their constant interruptions affect us. Explain rather than accuse: “I feel embarrassed and stressed when I’m on a video call, and you keep poking your head in to ask questions,” rather than “It is inconsiderate and selfish of you to keep interrupting my meetings.”
• Use non-controlling, non-directive language. For example, ask questions instead of telling them what to do. My all-time favorite question is “What’s your plan?” As in: “What’s your plan for getting some exercise today?” This makes it clear that they are still in control of their own behavior, and it helps put them in touch with their own motivations and intentions.
• Acknowledge that all of this is so hard. Many students coming home from school are experiencing significant losses right now. Their feelings of grief, anxiety, stress, and isolation are hard to cope with. And also: One of the great lessons of adulthood is that they can do hard things.

Tap into their attunement to the social world

We can also tap into their high attunement to the social world by emphasizing how their lives have a purpose, meaning, and impact on other people. Here are some talking points:

• You are not a passive actor here, along for the ride. Your actions are directly affecting the course of this crisis. We are wondering: What do you genuinely care most about in this crisis?
• Who can you help, and who are you concerned that you might harm? How can you use your skills to help the world right now?
• Your grandchildren are going to ask you about the role you played during this pandemic. What will you tell them?

Above all, help them see that this situation is not about what they want or expect from life. It’s about what life is expecting from them right now. We expect them to rise to the occasion; to be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.

There are incredible, urgent life lessons here. We are teaching our kids both directly and through our own example how to take responsibility—not just for ourselves and our immediate family, but for our local and global community, as well.
We are all being called to demonstrate our character and commitment to others and to the greater good. Our young people are being called, too. Let’s allow them to step up.

Parenting During Coronavirus: You Are Enough

See the original article here: https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/parenting-during-coronavirus-you-are-enough

When I called a friend to tell her how I was failing at enrichment activities for the kids recently — there’s been lots of screen time and maybe some stress eating — she interrupted me and said: You are enough.

I’m grateful for all the guidance on daily learning schedules, at-home science experiments, parent-led learning activities and online tours of the world’s museums. I love all those resources, really. But if I’m honest, they are also seriously stressing me out.

The expectations for being “perfect” during quarantine can add up. The best thing we can do right now is give ourselves what our friends offer us so willingly — the reminder that we are enough. That means you’re allowed to go a full day without a STEM experiment. You get to skip sentences while reading (super long) children’s books. You can hide the finger paint or tell your child that it dried up.

Young Children at Home during the COVID-19 Outbreak: The…

Self-care is not selfish or indulgent—it’s how we keep ourselves well to ensure we are physically, emotionally, and mentally capable of being there for our young children.

Parenting a young child is already stressful at times. That’s why it’s important to remember to take care of yourself, too. When you feel calmer, it’s easier to be there for your children and meet their needs.

The Case for Self-Care During the COVID-19 Outbreak

Most everyone has heard the flight attendant tell them to put their own oxygen mask on before helping others. The same goes for parenting—your health and well-being is important so that you can nurture your child. Self-care is not selfish or indulgent—it’s how we keep ourselves well to ensure we are physically, emotionally, and mentally capable of being there for our young children.

The realities of COVID-19 make self-care even more important. The unknowns of what’s coming next can worry even the calmest of parents. If faced with long periods of uncertainty, other stressors may emerge—concern for family members, worries about lost income, keeping the fridge full of groceries, balancing job roles with child care, and more. But young children need their parents to offer a calm, stable, and predictable “home base” for them. It’s a challenge, but as a parent, the best way to help your child be at their best is to take care of yourself.

Pay Attention to How You Are Feeling

Anxiety, worry, and grief are normal responses during and after an event like coronavirus. You may feel overwhelmed by ordinary tasks or annoyed in situations when you’d usually be patient.

• Take time to notice your feelings and pause and reflect before responding to your child or co-parent. When you need to get calmer, try taking a few deep breaths to clear your head. Or you might try a mindfulness activity to restore your sense of calm.
• Consider limiting your exposure to the news. You might choose to watch a daily update from a trusted public health official or check in online at predetermined times when your child is not in the room.
• Think about reaching out to a healthcare professional for help with physical or mental health concerns. Many healthcare providers have moved to telemedicine during the pandemic—offering appointments online or by phone.

Read more tips in the full article here: https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/3262-young-children-at-home-during-the-covid-19-outbreak-the-importance-of-self-care

How Soap KILLS the Coronavirus

This article is so awesome. Here’s a quick excerpt, but be sure to check out the full info by clicking here.

“…when you wash your hands with soap and water, you’re not just wiping viruses off your hands and sending them down the drain. You’re actually annihilating the viruses, rendering them harmless. Soap “is almost like a demolition team breaking down a building and taking all the bricks away,” says Palli Thordarson, a chemistry professor at the University of New South Wales, who posted a viral Twitter thread on the wonders of soap.

In a recent phone call, he explained why soap is such an effective Covid-19 killer and why it’s so important to soap your hands for at least 20 seconds.

The soap takes care of the virus much like it takes care of the oil in the water. “It’s almost like a crowbar; it starts to pull all the things apart,” Thordarson says.

One side of the soap molecule (the one that’s attracted to fat and repelled by water) buries its way into the virus’s fat and protein shell. Fortunately, the chemical bonds holding the virus together aren’t very strong, so this intrusion is enough to break the virus’s coat. “You pull the virus apart, you make it soluble in water, and it disintegrates,” he says.

Then the harmless shards of virus get flushed down the drain. And even if it the soap doesn’t destroy every virus, you’ll still rid them from your hands with soap and water, as well as any grease or dirt they may be clinging to. Soap will also wash away bacteria and other viruses that may be a bit tougher than coronavirus, and harder to disintegrate.

The trick is this all takes a little time to happen, and that’s why you need to take at least 20 seconds to wash your hands.”

(Read on)