13 Ways to Help Girls Feel Good About Themselves

Catch your Girl Scout doing something awesome. Give praise, recognition, a special privilege, or increased responsibility for a job well done. Emphasize the good choices they make, not the bad.

Take their ideas, emotions, and feelings seriously. Don’t belittle them by saying, “you’ll grow out of it,” or “it’s not as bad as you think.”

Define limits and rules clearly and enforce them. But do allow leeway for girls within these limits. Let them take the lead whenever possible.

Be a good role model. Let girls know that you feel good about yourself. Also let them see that you too can make mistakes and learn from them.

Teach girls how to deal with time and money. Help them set reachable goals so they can achieve success.

Help girls develop acceptance toward those with different values, backgrounds, and norms. Point out other people’s strengths.

Give girls responsibility. They will feel useful and valued.

Be available. Give support when girls need it.

Show them that what they do is important to you. Talk to them about their activities and interests. If you see them at school events or performances, make a point of saying hello and commenting about their success.

Spend time together. Participate in group activities.

Discuss problems without placing blame or commenting on a girl’s character. If girls know there is a problem but don’t feel attached, they are more likely to help look for a solution.

Use phrases that build self esteem, such as “thank you for helping” or “that’s a good idea!” Avoid phrases that hurt self esteem such as “How many times have I told you?”

Show how much you care about them. Give them high-fives and have crazy handshakes. Tell them they are terrific and that you care about them.

Valuing Differences

At Girl Scouts, we make sure girls are valued members, regardless of their economic, physical, psychological, or intellectual capabilities. The goal of each volunteer is to contribute to a girl’s path of becoming a caring, competent, and confident woman.

To ensure that each girl is valued, we can provide opportunities when:

Girls are actively planning an activity, like a meal or a trip. Be sure to encourage brainstorming, and acceptance of all suggestions.

Duties are rotated: kapers, roles in a ceremony, skits, songs, graces, choices for games, etc. Make sure that girls all get a chance to make decisions and be leaders. Celebrate creative solutions or ideas.

The situation calls for problem solving efforts. Lead the girls in ways to solve the problems, but do not do it for them. Encourage input from all girls.

Asking questions about appropriate behaviors for a particular activity or event. Our past experiences are not the same. By asking what is appropriate, you are encouraging the sharing of ideas and learning about differences. Then everyone knows the expectations and has participated in the choosing of appropriate behaviors.

Discussing family traditions. Holiday and family traditions are part of our socialization process. But they are unique to each family, because each family is unique. We are usually unaware or unconscious of this fact and act as if each family is just like ours. As a result, we remain unaware of the family and holiday traditions other people observe. Ask questions about traditions that girls in your troop observe, but try not to make them fit a mold based on your own. List many activity options and let the girls choose how they would like to observe the holiday.

We make an effort to be aware that family size, education level, jobs, economic status, heritage, geographic location, and health status are a few of the factors that influence each person’s behavior. They are also unique to each person. To promote understanding and valuing of differences, we can ask ourselves, “What may have been the experiences of the person to cause her to choose to act that way?” Then gently ask questions that build rapport and acceptance.

This is a task that is ongoing for each of us personally and as part of the group. If we do not learn to value differences, we lose the appreciation for the uniqueness of an individual. We also lose the contributions each will make when encouraged in a safe environment.

10 Things Caring Leaders Do

Make safety and health the number one priority.

Caring troop leaders know where their girls are at all times. They can say “no” to girls when needed.

Play with the girls.

Caring troop leaders are with their girls, watching them, listening to them, playing with them, and having fun together.

Listen to girls and have one-on-one talks with each girl.

Caring troop leaders let girls do most of the talking and listen deeply. They make time for one-on-one talks with each child. One-on-one does not mean alone or away from other people, rather that you have conversations with each girl in addition to group conversations.

Create enthusiasm.

Caring troop leaders do this by singing, chanting, laughing, being cheerful, being enthusiastic, and genuinely enjoying time with their girls.

Praise and encourage the girls.

Caring troop leaders praise girls for doing something creative, altruistic, or beneficial for the group.

Lead girls, but never boss them around.

Caring troop leaders are not bosses, they are leaders.

• A boss says “I”; a leader says “we”
• A boss inspires fear; the leader inspires enthusiasm
• A boss makes meetings boring and dull; a leader makes it a game

Interacts with girls at each meeting.

Caring troop leaders make sure that every meeting has time to share experiences, ideas, laughs, and work as a team. They make sure girls have time to make choices and talk about things that interest them.

Stay alert for girls who need extra help.

Caring troop leaders are continuously on the watch for girls who are unhappy or having troubles. Girls who are too aggressive or too quiet usually need special attention. They encourage girls to talk but never force them.

Puts the needs of the girls first.

Caring troop leaders know that the needs of the girls must be put ahead of their personal needs in order to be effective. Let the girls decide what they want to do as a troop, don’t reject ideas because they seem to be extra work for you. During troop meetings or outings, you should be interacting primarily with the girls, not other volunteers.

Give special attention to each girl during a farewell.

Caring troop leaders do this at the end of a meeting, or even before bedtime during an outing. They offer high-fives or other personalized moments to let girls know that they are welcomed back and that their leader likes having them in their troop.